top stories
Reddit (Mar 2020)
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A law requiring mandatory measles vaccinations for kindergartens and schools came into force on Sunday in Germany. Parents can be fined thousands of euros if they violate the law.
66635 upvotes • comment • mar 01, 2020
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The dumbness is inherited
66634 upvotes • comment • mar 07, 2020
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TIL A married Secret Service agent had trouble extraditing a hacker from Romania, so he pretended he was a woman, flirted for 7 months online, and nabbed the criminal when he flew to Boston with 3 boxes of grape-flavored condoms.
66632 upvotes • comment • mar 28, 2020
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TIFU by leaving my reddit account logged in on the shared work computer and allowing my smarter and more handsome colleague to post whatever he wants
66625 upvotes • comment • mar 12, 2020
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Don't know if this has been posted before but this just made my day
66599 upvotes • comment • mar 26, 2020
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TIL a deceased man was considered a coauthor of a 1990 math paper after he appeared in a dream to the other author to explain some of the key ideas.
66562 upvotes • comment • mar 02, 2020
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Bernie Sanders says he's staying in race, looks forward to debating Joe Biden
66538 upvotes • comment • mar 11, 2020
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TIL of a woman who gave her neighbor a ‘box of sex toys’ to hold on to. 6 months later the neighbor noticed a stench coming from her closet where the box was stored. She finally opened it and found a decomposing severed head inside. It was the original woman’s husband.
66426 upvotes • comment • mar 22, 2020
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A man gave the shirt off his back to a homeless man on an NYC Subway
66377 upvotes • comment • mar 07, 2020
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Focus
66354 upvotes • comment • mar 26, 2020
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The elevator shaft on the CN Tower flashes seemingly random colours, until you stretch them out and discover each flash is a 2 pixel wide vertical line of an image
66348 upvotes • comment • mar 15, 2020
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Bridge Activated
66341 upvotes • comment • mar 07, 2020
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His first stop back from deployment was his son's taekwondo class
66311 upvotes • comment • mar 21, 2020
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Thanks Minecraft!
66257 upvotes • comment • mar 18, 2020
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TIL Shia LaBeouf was caught plagerizing Daniel Clowes work, in response he tweeted apologises that were later discovered to be plagerized from public figures, including Nick Clegg. When called out by Lena Dunham for his sky writing apology to Clowe, he apologised to her using her own apology tweets.
66169 upvotes • comment • mar 12, 2020
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This passport will get a stamp
66167 upvotes • comment • mar 09, 2020
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I think I can make it!
66092 upvotes • comment • mar 02, 2020
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If you wonder what coronavirus tastes like, ask this girl
66070 upvotes • comment • mar 07, 2020
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I've saved all these caps for nothing
66045 upvotes • comment • mar 11, 2020
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Oh.
66019 upvotes • comment • mar 28, 2020
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NASA Fixes Mars Lander By Telling It to Hit Itself With a Shovel
65996 upvotes • comment • mar 19, 2020
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Sen. Kelly Loeffler Dumped Millions in Stock After Coronavirus Briefing
65961 upvotes • comment • mar 20, 2020
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Absolutely destroyed
65888 upvotes • comment • mar 06, 2020
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Where are the boys
65741 upvotes • comment • mar 23, 2020
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It's like magic!
65707 upvotes • comment • mar 13, 2020
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TIL that after 25 years of wondering about a strange dip in the floor beneath his couch, a man in Plymouth, England finally dug down into his home's foundation and found a medieval well 33 feet deep, along with an old sword hidden deep inside.
65661 upvotes • comment • mar 02, 2020
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Her logic is goop
65658 upvotes • comment • mar 25, 2020
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Grand entrance
65612 upvotes • comment • mar 31, 2020
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Excuse me while I toot my own horn. Single mom here. For my daughter’s 12 birthday, got her a dog and took her camping and fishing. Not something I’ve ever done alone. I think her dad would have been proud.
65600 upvotes • comment • mar 21, 2020
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To sexualize women
65552 upvotes • comment • mar 25, 2020
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People of Siena, Italy sing a popular song from their houses along an empty street to warm their hearts during the Italian Covid-19 lockdown.
65508 upvotes • comment • mar 12, 2020
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Juvenile snow owls often sleep face down as their heads are too heavy to sleep perched.
65488 upvotes • comment • mar 11, 2020
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The discovery of multiple lineages of pangolin coronavirus and their similarity to SARS-CoV-2 suggests that pangolins should be considered as possible hosts in the emergence of novel coronaviruses and should be removed from wet markets to prevent zoonotic transmission.
65449 upvotes • comment • mar 26, 2020
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I'd like to take a moment to thank all of the grocery store employees for remaining strong during these times of uncertainty. Many of us underappreciated and underacknowledge the sacrifice that these individuals are taking every day to ensure the health and safty of the American people.
65443 upvotes • comment • mar 19, 2020
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Y'all like my new controller?
65411 upvotes • comment • mar 25, 2020
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Mr. Wang has had enough.
65404 upvotes • comment • mar 10, 2020
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The way the pianist hits all the notes just right
65372 upvotes • comment • mar 15, 2020
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Screw wasps!
65363 upvotes • comment • mar 12, 2020
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Lose a leg in a firefight? So what, run a marathon.
65204 upvotes • comment • mar 11, 2020
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The perks of being a UPS driver
65166 upvotes • comment • mar 28, 2020
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Caught our Japanese exchange student about to drink this because it says “soda” and has fruit on the label.
65156 upvotes • comment • mar 31, 2020
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Garbage men Taking a break
65152 upvotes • comment • mar 06, 2020
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I wonder why he was called PROPHET
65072 upvotes • comment • mar 29, 2020
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“Work voice”
65034 upvotes • comment • mar 19, 2020
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Unexpected but wholesome enough
65029 upvotes • comment • mar 28, 2020
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this is my magnum opus, my creme de la creme
65003 upvotes • comment • mar 26, 2020
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Costco freezer section Madison WI yesterday
65002 upvotes • comment • mar 13, 2020
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Boris Johnson tests positive for COVID-19
64945 upvotes • comment • mar 27, 2020
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Joe Biden passed the bill that made student loans ineligible for financial relief. Joe Biden is the reason so many of us don't have families yet. Joe Biden is why we can't afford houses. Joe Biden is why we're working longer hours for lower wages.
64919 upvotes • comment • mar 05, 2020
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Be aware of the signs especially now
64914 upvotes • comment • mar 22, 2020
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Part 2 of the chore getting done in 6 months from now
64901 upvotes • comment • mar 04, 2020
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Manhattan Beach surfer issued $1,000 citation for violating beach closure order, disrespecting lifeguard.
64900 upvotes • comment • mar 28, 2020
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Not all sports are cancelled
64872 upvotes • comment • mar 14, 2020
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TIL one of the Founding Fathers originally wanted there to be Department of Peace that would keep the Department of War (now the Department of Defense) in check.
64852 upvotes • comment • mar 13, 2020
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Netflix secret codes
64844 upvotes • comment • mar 02, 2020
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Asked What He Says to Frightened Americans, Trump Responds 'You Are a Terrible Reporter'
64835 upvotes • comment • mar 20, 2020
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On a call with Trump officials, police chief pleads: 'Stop testing NBA players, start testing first responders'
64808 upvotes • comment • mar 23, 2020
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I think this is probably my favourite tweet of all time
64761 upvotes • comment • mar 16, 2020
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Watching a sex scene with your parents
64747 upvotes • comment • mar 22, 2020
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If marriages were 5 to 10 year contracts with options to renew if both parties accept, how would the world be different?
64741 upvotes • comment • mar 05, 2020
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Fiona the baby hippo enjoying her monthly dental checkup
64660 upvotes • comment • mar 05, 2020
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TIL There is a famous Australian pub rock song about grieving over the loss of a romantic partner. The chorus sings "Am I ever gonna see your face again?" It is Australian tradition for the crowd to shout "No way, get fucked, fuck off."
64596 upvotes • comment • mar 27, 2020
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Coronavirus: Singapore PM calls for end to US-China blame game, wants to see leadership from Trump administration
64586 upvotes • comment • mar 29, 2020
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I’m trying my best!
64550 upvotes • comment • mar 30, 2020
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Popularity of Netflix's 'Tiger King' prompts sheriff to ask for leads in 1997 cold case
64469 upvotes • comment • mar 30, 2020
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that orange chicken gon give you corona guys
64466 upvotes • comment • mar 08, 2020
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When you're quarantined, but you still have to walk the dog.
64428 upvotes • comment • mar 19, 2020
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This plague doctor on my campus
64399 upvotes • comment • mar 12, 2020
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Extended leg pistol squats
64385 upvotes • comment • mar 22, 2020
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Watch: In Fiery Floor Speech, Sanders Rips GOP for Relentless Efforts to 'Punish' Poor People — "Meanwhile, these very same folks had no problem a couple years ago voting for a trillion dollars in tax breaks for billionaires and large profitable corporations. Not a problem."
64358 upvotes • comment • mar 26, 2020
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TIL a fed up Jet Blue flight attendant announced his resignation over the PA system upon landing. He then grabbed 2 beers from a beverage cart and exited by deploying the plane’s emergency slide.
64349 upvotes • comment • mar 21, 2020
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It is time, Buttigieg
64329 upvotes • comment • mar 01, 2020
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What 27 years of technology advancement in 3D shooters looks like:
64319 upvotes • comment • mar 29, 2020
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Italy: Surgeon, anesthesiologist and nurse have risked being infected by a man, he has tested positive for coronavirus. He hid his symptoms, fearing that the rhinoplasty would be postponed. He's now risks 12 years in prison for an aggravated epidemic
64288 upvotes • comment • mar 17, 2020
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TIL that Nicholas Cage spent $150 million on a 70-million-year-old dinosaur skull, a tomb, a $150,000 first edition Superman comic, pygmy heads, two European castles; one worth $10 million and the other $2.6 million, and 15 residences. He later had to return the skull to the Mongolian govt.
64285 upvotes • comment • mar 04, 2020
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🔥 The Largest Animal on the Planet for World Wildlife Day 🐋
64199 upvotes • comment • mar 04, 2020
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A small town in northern Italy has reportedly stopped all new coronavirus infections as part of a successful experiment that involved blanket testing of the town's entire population of 3,300 people
64196 upvotes • comment • mar 18, 2020
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Sanders condemns his supporters' 'ugly, personal attacks' against Warren
64190 upvotes • comment • mar 05, 2020
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Local store price gouging on hand sanitizer
64132 upvotes • comment • mar 10, 2020
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What are some good internet Rabbit Holes to fall into during this time of quarantine?
64111 upvotes • comment • mar 23, 2020
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The plan to turn half the world into a reserve for nature. Scientists and conservationists are proposing that up to half of Earth’s land and oceans be protected for nature.
64086 upvotes • comment • mar 27, 2020
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Little girl handled herself well
63989 upvotes • comment • mar 29, 2020
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Schools canceled so I just make shitty memes
63960 upvotes • comment • mar 16, 2020
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Blue jay still has half of his baby feathers.
63820 upvotes • comment • mar 23, 2020
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Change my mind
63756 upvotes • comment • mar 27, 2020
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It's a 'false hope' coronavirus will disappear in the summer like the flu, WHO says
63752 upvotes • comment • mar 13, 2020
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Bon Jovi washing dishes at his Restaurant to aid coronavirus relief.
63743 upvotes • comment • mar 20, 2020
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I'M NOT FUCKING RELAXING!
63736 upvotes • comment • mar 05, 2020
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This is why the other countries make fun of us.
63716 upvotes • comment • mar 30, 2020
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Get well soon comrade
63665 upvotes • comment • mar 13, 2020
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This is what class warfare looks like.
63661 upvotes • comment • mar 12, 2020
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What drug did you take once and thought “nope, never again”?
63606 upvotes • comment • mar 14, 2020
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Not your typical post, but an idiot in a car none the less.
63592 upvotes • comment • mar 25, 2020
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I won an custom Xbox from a contest from Xbox themselves. It’s the only one in the world and I’m very proud of it.
63569 upvotes • comment • mar 16, 2020
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Class idiot....
63554 upvotes • comment • mar 01, 2020
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Let’s remember this guy (Officer Brailsford) shot and killed a civilian crawling on the ground begging for his life and was later temporarily rehired by the city so he could receive $2500+ a month pension for the rest of his life.
63553 upvotes • comment • mar 30, 2020
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This shit pisses me off. WHO FUCKING CARES??
63547 upvotes • comment • mar 27, 2020
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I Take No Responsibility
63516 upvotes • comment • mar 23, 2020
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How not to Rob
63443 upvotes • comment • mar 09, 2020
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Best thing I've ever seen
63421 upvotes • comment • mar 16, 2020